


Control Your Poison, Babe [Da Da Doo Doot]

by cbuugdrama9



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Family Fluff, How Do I Tag, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:20:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26471776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cbuugdrama9/pseuds/cbuugdrama9
Summary: The Apocalypse may have been averted, but now the Hargreeves were battling their biggest challenge yet...each other.ORA beautiful scene you never knew you needed, featuring our favorite dysfunctional family.
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves & Everyone, Ben Hargreeves & Everyone, Diego Hargreeves & Everyone, Grace Hargreeves & Everyone, Klaus Hargreeves & Everyone, Luther Hargreeves & Everyone, Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy) & Everyone, Vanya Hargreeves & Everyone
Kudos: 64





	Control Your Poison, Babe [Da Da Doo Doot]

**Author's Note:**

> Happy 16th Birthday to one of my best friends, Addie!!! Girl, you deserve the best day— therefore, I decided you needed the best FanFictions too. Here’s your special gift; hallelujah.

The apocalypse had been averted, but that didn’t mean every battle was over.

All one could hear in the Hargreeves mansion was music and the labored breathing of the Hargreeves family. Klaus fought the strong urge to start whistling the tune that was playing, instead focusing on using some newfound impulse control. This was a serious moment; Klaus simply could not afford to lose concentration for a second.

Klaus risked a quick glance over to his right and spotted Diego using his powers. Klaus was about to call him out, but Allison beat him to it.

“Diego, you can’t use your powers,” she called from the sidelines. “This has to be a fair fight.”

Diego suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. “Yeah, yeah...” he exhaled out harshly.

The talking quickly died down as Klaus, Five, Vanya, and Diego resumed focus once more on the challenge ahead of them.

Ben was stealthily eating popcorn on the sidelines, letting out hushed noises of delight every once and awhile. After such a long time of not having the ability to eat, everything tasted so good.

Luther was observing his four competing siblings’ every move, possibly building future strategies. He knew that once he got into the midst of battle he’d surely forget everything he’d planned, but he couldn’t help trying anyway.

Allison was just watching the show, nodding her head and tapping her toe to the beat of the music. She knew she was probably competing in one of the next rounds, but Allison just couldn’t find it in herself to be nervous. All she felt was pure excitement caused by her beating Luther in the previous round.

She stifled a laugh as Diego and Five began quietly trash talking to each other as the battle neared its end— they were always the most competitive in the family. Even as their voices grew louder and louder, Diego and Five never looked away from what was in front of them.

They had laser focus.

Vanya shushed her two bickering brothers, and to Allison’s surprise, Five and Diego stopped their jeering. Her four competing siblings seemed lost to the world after that, getting in as many points as they could during the battle’s final moments.

Soon enough, the song reached its final note; Just like that, the battle was over.

The TV screen flashed their scores, and Diego fist-pumped the air in victory.

“You only won because you cheated,” Five grumbled, gratefully accepting the cup of water Luther offered him.

“All’s fair in Just Dance, Five,” Diego shot back, grinning as if he wasn’t lightheaded from pure exertion.

“Everything except, y’know...one of the biggest things we banned?” Vanya questioned innocently, fighting to keep a good-natured smirk off her face.

“Shut up, Vanya.” Even as he rolled his eyes, the warmth in Diego’s voice gave him away.

As Allison handed out water to everyone and Ben clicked off of “Time Warp” to find the next song, Luther grabbed the cheap hats they’d bought from the dollar store.

He reached into the first hat and pulled out a slip of paper that, once unfolded, contained the song “It’s Raining Men,” in orange ink. Once he read it, he immediately announced the song to the group and reminded them of the ink color.

The orange pen was for songs they’d deemed ‘fairly challenging’. Luther and Klaus quickly took some sips of water in preparation, just in case they got picked to dance.

Ben clicked over to the song, and as the five-second preview played, most of them couldn’t help but over-dramatically start lip-syncing to the song. Once it was selected, Luther passed the ‘Hat of Names’ to Diego.

Once they all agreed on how many names should be picked, Diego reached into the hat. He pulled out two slips of paper and unfolded them, wasting no time in reading out the names.

Klaus immediately bounded up from the couch with a grin. He chugged the rest of his water before he started stretching in preparation, Vanya graciously holding his empty cup.

Ben finished his drink and refilled it carefully. He placed it down on the refreshment table before reluctantly raising his hand. “I can’t pass, can I?”

Allison placed a hand on his arm. When he met her warm gaze, she smiled at him. “Ben, we’ve been over this— rule #3, remember? ‘Don’t Judge Any Dancer, Since They Won’t Judge You?’”

He grinned at her and pulled her into a quick hug. “I wasn’t sure if that still applied since Diego already broke rule #2, Powers Are Cheating and Therefore Banned.”

“Screw you, Ben.” Diego laughed from his seat on the couch.

Ben pulled away from Allison, and she quickly squeezed his hand in encouragement before waving him off to the middle of the room.

Klaus and Ben took their spots in the center of the room. After getting into a small war against their controllers in an attempt to make the cursor work, they heard the Just Dance Lady sing the same two words she always did.

And just like that, the opening instrumental began. Noticing Ben’s tensed up shoulders, Vanya let out a whoop of support. Klaus grinned, leaning over to his brother for a second to stage-whisper conspiratorially.

“Want me to make a fool of myself? I really don’t mind, I do it a lot.” He joked.

Ben took a deep breath, cleared his throat, and threw his shoulders back while staring down the screen. Even if he wasn’t that confident in his dance ability, he finally understood that no-one would judge him if he failed. 

“You’re going against me, Klaus. You making a fool of yourself is guaranteed.”

In his peripheral vision, he saw Klaus’ eyes light up in shock and delight. His family went insane in the background, and Ben had to bite his lip and really concentrate to keep in a laugh.

They both managed to focus on the screen as the instrumental ended, and they quickly struck their first pose.

Ben really didn’t know what he’d been so nervous about.

He knew he looked ridiculous as the song went on, but he was owning it— at one point he threw Diego an over-dramatic wink when striking a pose, and Diego pretended to swoon and faint against Allison, who was in hysterics. At one point he and Klaus tried to sing along to the chorus, and Ben was the first to laugh when his voice cracked.

At some point in the song, someone changed the lyrics to “It’s Raining Ben” as they sang, but he couldn’t judge because eventually he joined in and was guilty by association. Ben even thought he heard Five quietly singing along to the bridge.

The energy in the room was so freeing, and he finally let go of anything he’d been holding back.

The final note hit and both Ben and Klaus struck the final pose— Ben had to swerve his head to avoid being hit in the face, but his adrenaline was too high for him to care. As the dancing avatar strutted offscreen and the scores popped up, the applause was deafening.

Ben had set a new high score for the song.

Once the applause began to die down, the siblings noticed someone behind them was still clapping. They quickly spun around and saw Grace standing poised in the entryway, smiling and applauding. Her smile brightened further when all of her children quickly ran over to hug her, Five even using his teleporting ability to get there first.

After a few heavenly moments, the hug reluctantly ended. Grace reached behind her and grabbed a tray full of fresh chocolate chip cookies, and her wonderful family parted like the sea for Moses when she began walking. As soon as she set the tray down, her kids swarmed around to grab some cookies.

She let out an exasperated sigh that held no heat, and she couldn’t keep the smile off her face as she shook her head at them.

As Grace walked away to get started on a new batch, she heard her family call out “thanks, Mom!” in one chorus. Her heart swelled at the sound.

This was truly home.


End file.
